Christmas wish.

I'm praying for a miracle. If I can have nothing else this Christmas, let this be it. Please? I'll give anything.

Five years.

It's refreshing how benign we are this week. We've had our last exam for the year, as well as our last dissection ever, most likely. My Y!M status (yes, I'm online!) even reads "benign." So I was able to go to mass at lunchtime today, for the first time this semester.

As I was praying after receving holy communion, I remembered Ninang Annette's post on Facebook a couple of days ago. It was about Lolo Willie, and that it's been five years since his death. And then I started crying. I couldn't believe how long it's been. In that span of time, a medical student would have already graduated and become a licensed physician. An infant would have reached kindergarten.

In those silent moments of prayer, thoughts of Lolo Willie came rushing. Like how, when we were kids, we cousins would race to his bedroom to ask for goodies. And we'd never leave empty-handed. Lolo would rummage through his cabinet for whatever he could find--choco mallows, choco crunchies, and I can't forget the favorite, rosquillos.

Lolo Willie was so quirky. Whenever Lola Adeling would ask him "Ano gusto mo kainin?" his standard answer was always "pwet ng manok." Always. Pwet ng manok this, pwet ng manok that. I think he just liked the sound of the words, and perhaps because it made us all laugh. He also liked to slap my cheek from time to time. And it wasn't a gentle smack or anything. Sampal talaga. Lola would scold him, but I never minded. I knew it was his way of being affectionate, even if it did hurt a bit. And whenever he would ask Tita Tonette to make his afternoon cup of coffee, he would ask "Asan na ang cafe ko?" Cafe, not coffee or kape. No one can say it quite the same way.

Written on Lolo Willie's grave are the words He taught us how to love. How true those words are. For Lolo was the kindest, sweetest, most unassuming man. He was incredibly appreciative of the littlest things. As he got older, it would take less and less for him to shed tears. He would cry when one of us, his apos, received an award in school. He'd cry when Papa would give him a shirt or a pair of shoes that no longer fit. Things like that. How can you not but love and appreciate such a person.

I remember the night before he died. Hooked up to the IV and groggy, he still knew who we were. I remember holding his hand and asking "Lolo, sino ako?" And he looked into my eyes, a smile spreading across his lined face, and said softly, "Pretty girl." Only he ever called me that. And no one can say it quite the same way.

I miss Lolo Willie so much. As I prayed in the chapel today, only one thing made me smile again--the knowledge that he is in a happier place. But always, always looking after us all.

Happy Easter anniversary, Lolo Willie. Happy birthday and Merry Christmas as well. We love you. :)

3 AM

We had our last exam for the year today. Feels soooo good. And I'm up this late for no reason other than sheer love of the internet. Haha.

Second sem has been such a ride, and we're only a few weeks in. I now know what it means to hit the ground running. And then now, suddenly, we're nearing Christmas. I can feel and smell it in the air, my favorite time of year. I can taste it in the food too. I lovelovelove Christmas goodies. :)

Okay, that's all. Sleepy. I still owe that long, narrative blog entry. Christmas break, yay. :)

Good morning!

I'm awakening this blog from a month-long hiatus. My, how angry I was in my last few entries. I don't even remember what some of them were about, vague as they are. Which is a good thing, since they're probably not about anything good or happy.

This sem is different from the last, definitely. Right now, there's so much to say, so much to do, so much to think, and barely any time at all to do so. But again, I take things one day at a time. There's no other way. I also choose to hold on tighter to some things, and keep a safe distance from others.

And I promise to write more now. Some things are too important to not write about. Like the fact that our house is back, and better than ever. But that deserves an entry all on its own. Maybe over this long weekend.

Good morning, again! To me, to this blog, to the world.

P.S. Hello, Mervyn! Haha may special mention ka, since may special mention ako sa trans niyo. Thank you for reminding me that I have a blog. Because of you, I was itching to blog even as I was supposed to be studying for OS 206. Salamat sa pagsubaybay. :)

Just you wait.

My day will come too. And I swear I'll never be as insensitive and insecure as you.

A few pent-up sentiments.

For different people or just one. You be the judge.

1. It doesn't make me any less than you. Let's just see how it all turns out, shall we?
   
2. Sometimes I really wish I could get angry. As in fuming-blow-my-top-let-the-PMS-take-over mad. I bet it would feel really, really, really good.
3. You really can't expect from anyone, can you? I should've known. Just as it was starting to seem like you care, you let me know how it really went down. Disappointing is too mild a word.

Wow. I feel better already. Thanks!

Murmurs

I'm frustrated over a petty, trivial thing. Especially in light of all that has been happening lately. It's distracting. And a distraction is the last thing I need right now, when I have two exams in a few hours. Tsk. I should've known. Kaartehan ko kasi. Haha.

Homesick.

I now know the true meaning of the word.

:(

Back to reality.

Oh, Ondoy.

I don’t know where to start. That’s the way I felt when I first saw the disaster that is now our house. And that’s the way I feel now as I attempt to write about the experience that will forever be the turning point of our lives. I’ll try to do everything chronologically, to indulge my perfectionist tendencies.

Saturday morning. I woke up at 8 AM, which was late, as I had planned to study the whole day for my biochem exam. Already the rain was pouring heavily. I kissed my mom goodbye before she left for a family gathering in the South. As I was eating breakfast, my dad noticed that rainwater was starting to collect on the streets outside. He anticipated the flood (which had twice before occurred, the water entering our house at knee level) and asked me to help him move our three remaining cars (as one was with Mama) to higher ground, which was just at the end of the street.

To prepare for the possibility that the water would enter our house, Papa, Yaya Arlie, Yaya Sonia, Monch, and I started moving our downstairs furniture upstairs (which is a mere four steps higher). We moved the ref, various tables, chairs, even our dog, Mookie. But the water was rising alarmingly fast. Papa said pag umabot na ‘yung tubig sa third step ng stairs, alis na tayo. This happened in what seemed like minutes. But we could no longer leave, so we decided to go up to the highest point in our house—the tiny attic. We brought everything we could, while the two Yayas still scurried to bring up everything they could. They managed to bring up three TVs, paintings, various appliances while we upstairs were calling tama na yan, akyat na kayo, iwanan niyo na yung mga gamit. Only when they were neck deep in the water (on tiptoes) did they finally heed our calls.

So the five of us (six including Mookie) were stuck in the attic all of Saturday night until Sunday afternoon. We had some food to eat, just a few bottles of mineral water, and only a makeshift toilet. You can bet I was feeling sooo Anne Frank. Haha. Though I was as worried and scared as the rest of them, I knew I had to be the calm, strong one, especially for Papa, who is hypertensive and diabetic. I led them in praying the rosary, the Memorare, the prayer of Jabez, the novena to the Infant Jesus over and over and over again as we could do nothing else. We could hardly sleep; we would pass the time by watching the water level rise (over our gate, almost until the ceiling of our garage).

We had five cell phones with us in the attic but the signal was limited and very erratic. We also had to conserve our battery because we didn’t know how long we would be stuck up there. Mama was very worried about us but we assured her that we were all okay and that we had enough food and water for the night. She was trying very hard to contact people who might be able to rescue us. The rain finally stopped late that night, but it would start drizzling every now and then. Every time it did I would pray again Lord make the rain stop, please make it stop, please let the floods recede, please let this all be over.

Sunday morning. We received a call from Mama that she had contacted Papa’s boss, the president of San Miguel Corp, Mr. Ramon Ang, and he told her that he would send a helicopter for us right away. Mrs. Lydia Ragasa, the woman in charge of all of SMC’s aircrafts, said that they could do this at 5am at the earliest. So beginning 5am, at the sound of an approaching chopper, Papa would climb up to the roof (no easy feat for him) and wave an improvised flag. After a few false alarms, SMC’s chopper finally arrived at around 11am. Unfortunately they could not land on any of the rooftops or even descend low enough so that we could climb aboard (they had no ladder and it was unsafe for them to land due to the electric cables all around the houses). They resorted to dropping a life raft to us and telling Monch that he would have to row us to a place where there was no water and they could land for us to climb aboard safely.

While figuring out how to get the life raft to inflate, our savior arrived in the form of Kuya Armand, a school bus driver employed by one of our neighbors and a guy Monch gets to play basketball with sometimes. Since the day before he had been swimming around (yes in the filthy, muddy water), helping in whatever way he could—bringing the little food or water he could find to those who had not eaten, for example. Kuya Armand helped figured out how to inflate the raft for us and assisted us as we climbed aboard it. But more than that, Kuya Armand pushed and pulled our little raft all the way until the foot of Manggahan bridge where there was no more water. It took him a good two hours! Along the way, other men would help but would drop out because of fatigue or cramps. But Kuya Armand was tireless. He was even cheerful, cracking jokes to lighten up the depressing mood.

As we made our way slowly through the waters, I was overwhelmed by everything I saw. Riverside Village and Ortigas Extension had become one long river. All houses, establishments, vehicles were submerged; none were spared. People were wading through the waist- to chest-deep flood. We passed by several of our neighbors in Riverside, those who had not been able to go home. The same questions were asked over and over: Saan kayo galing? Mataas ba ang tubig sa inyo? Nakita niyo pamilya ko? Naku, kumusta na sila? Some were in tears worrying about their family members, others were attempting to bring food home to their children who had not had anything to eat since the day before. We left the life raft with Kuya Armand, who we heard went back to save more people and did not accept payment when some tried to give it.

We were finally picked up at the Jollibee by Sto. Rosario church by Mama, Tito Popot and Tito Elmer. It had never felt so good to see them all again. We all headed to Diamond Hotel, where we are staying until now, thanks again to the generosity of Mr. Ramon Ang who told us we can stay as long as we need.

We are overwhelmed by the generosity of so many others. Already we have received four different offers for places to stay while we fix our house. Countless have also offered to help clean up. Our relatives have given us clothes, shoes, toiletries, food. I also can’t help but be proud of all of the relief efforts that are ongoing. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are all heroes.

My family is still lucky despite everything. Our clothes can be washed, our furniture and appliances replaced, our cars can be repaired. Let us pray for the others who lost their entire homes, and especially for those who lost their loved ones. Let’s also pray that the other storms that are also making their way here do not arrive. I think we can all do without the rain for awhile.

Forgive me.

How could I have doubted. I will doubt no more.

And thank You.


:) :) :) :)

Lord.

It doesn't get any easier. Well, maybe slightly. But I still find myself running to the chapel each time.

To give and not to count the cost.
To labor and ask not for reward.

Something's telling me it might be you.

She passed away today. Ate Mary Grace Lumogda-Quintela. My heart sank when I read Fr. Francis' text in the middle of class today. I knew it was only a matter of time, which prompted the emergency wedding in the first place, but I still felt such a sadness, a heaviness in my chest. I could no longer pay attention to Dr. Abdulla's lecture.

It happened just a week after her wedding, too. It was Mother Mary's birthday then. And today was the Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows. Ate Grace must really have a special place in Mother Mary's heart. She sure does in mine.

Please help me pray for the repose of her soul, as well as for the family she left behind--Kuya Titus and their daughter.

The Wedding in Ward 14B

After a weekend of blessings spent with my family, and 21 years of blessings behind me, I wanted to give thanks. It has been a tradition of mine to hear mass on my birthday, and this year I specifically wanted to attend the mass at the PGH chapel. I was hoping that Fr. Francis Alvarez would officiate the noon mass. I’d heard him say mass at PGH several times before, and his homilies were truly inspiring. I was eager to find out what his homily would tell me on my birthday.

Unfortunately, when Mama, Papa, Monch, and I arrived at the chapel, we found out that the noon mass had been cancelled because it was a holiday. So Mom suggested we go to the chaplain’s office on the off chance that Father would be there, and ask for birthday blessings. Luckily enough, he was around. And after exchanging pleasantries and praying over me and my family, Father mentioned that there would be an emergency wedding at the PGH wards the next day, and if some of us med students could possibly take time out to help. I wholeheartedly said yes, thinking it would be the perfect way to celebrate my birthday.

Fr. Francis explained that the patient who was to be married was a woman named Mary Grace Lumogda. She had been diagnosed with cervical cancer just a few months ago. She and her boyfriend of several years, Titus Quintela, had been saving up for a dream wedding, but the funds they raised ended up being used for her hospitalization and treatment expenses. They also have a one year-old daughter with hydrocephalus. Mary Grace’s doctors said that she could go any day, thus the reason for the emergency wedding. Fr. Francis described to me how Mary Grace’s eyes had instantly lit up when he told her that she and Titus could still get married. Father was able to somehow make arrangements for Titus to be flown to Manila from Antique, and so that Mary Grace’s relatives could buy a simple white dress from Baclaran. He asked me for help with the makeup, just enough so she could feel special on her special day. For that, I asked Julie, 2014’s resident makeup artist.

The Lumogda-Quintela wedding was held on September 8, 2009, at Ward 14B of PGH. A number of us gathered to witness the occasion. Julie did the makeup, some of us took pictures, and some members of the MedChoir sang It Might Be You, Mary Grace’s favorite song. Mary Grace was even singing along softly. Titus held on to Mary Grace as Fr. Francis took them through the rites and the vows. And when he proclaimed them man and wife, you could see nothing but joy in their eyes. There was no cancer, no sickness, no pain. Only love for each other.

I am so thankful to have been a part of such an important event in the lives of Ate Mary Grace and Kuya Titus (I was even one of the witnesses in their marriage contract!). Some have said their story is straight out a Nicholas Sparks novel or a Maalaala Mo Kaya episode. But this was no fictional love story created from someone’s imagination. This was real, it happened right inside PGH--a miracle of the Blessed Mother, on her birthday. A miracle because a woman was made to smile and sing even at the point of death. A miracle because two people were brought together and were married, against all odds.

I look forward to many more miracles, both big and small, within the wards of PGH and beyond.

To see photos of the event, click here.

Tao rin.

Two posts in one day? After not posting for a month? Shocking. I shock myself. But I was disturbed by this note that has been going around Facebook. And I just had to set the record straight.

HOW TO DATE A MED STUDENT 101

1. Don't expect to see them. Ever. Exag. I still get to see Ruari every week. My family and high school friends still get to see me. And we in UP Med have highly varied extracurricular activities. I know one who is on the dragon boat team that trains every morning before class. A few of my classmates participated in an international chorale competition with the UP MedChoir. The sororities get to hold fashion shows, for goodness' sake.

2. Accept the fact they will have many affairs. With their books. This is true. Netter, Moore, Berne, and I have become quite intimate these past months. Oh, and Acland. I can't forget Acland.

3. Learn to hide your “ew, gross” reactions when they tell you all the stuff you never wanted to know about your bodily functions. Pwede. This can also apply to the stories we tell about our cadaver dissections. Haha.

4. Support them when they come home after each test, upset because they failed—and gently remind them after they get their well above passing grade how unnecessary the “I’m going to fail out of medical school and never become an MD” dramatics are. I've been there. And you've left out the more important part--when we rise up, move on, and do better the next time around.

5. Each week they will have a new illness. Some will be extremely rare, others will be more mundane. Doesn’t matter. They will be certain they have it (no second opinions necessary.) Med school can, and will, turn even the sanest into a hypochondriac. Date them for long enough, and you’ll become one too. I've been warned about this "medical student syndrome." It's not true. We do sometimes complain of myesthenia gravis (when we're tired at the end of the day) or ptosis (when we can't keep awake during lectures)--but only as a joke. Learn to tell the difference. And not to generalize.

6. There will be weeks you'll forget you even have a boyfriend—friends will ask how he is and you'll say, “What? Who? Oh....right. He's well...I think.” Not true. Throughout our two-year relationship, Ruari has been in med school. We still see each other every week, and we communicate constantly.

7. They'll make you hyper-aware that germs are everywhere and on everything. Even though you used to walk into your home with your shoes on, and sit on your bed in the same clothes you just wore while riding the subway, or sat on a public bench in, you'll become far too disgusted to ever do it again. Believe me, it's going to get bad...you'll watch yourself transform into the anal retentive person you swore you'd never become. And when you witness others perform these same acts that, before you began dating your med student, you spent your entire life doing too, you'll wince and wonder, “Ew! How can they do that? Don't they know how many germs and bacteria they're spreading??!” Er...maybe in higher years? But I doubt. And honestly, I know some med students with less than hygienic personal habits. Haha.

8. Romantic date = Chinese take-out in front of the TV on their 10 minute study break. Ruari and I watch movies, go out for dinner, go out with each other's friends--just like normal couples. We do study together, and that's the nice thing about us both being in med.

9. A vacation together consists of a trip down the street to Walgreens for new highlighters and printer paper. Excuse me. We're not that sad. A classmate of mine went wakeboarding with her boyfriend over the long weekend. I know someone else who's going to Boracay.

10. Their study habits will make you feel like a complete slacker. For them, hitting the books 8-to-10 hours a day is not uncommon, nor difficult. You'll wonder how you ever managed to pass school on your meager one hour of studying per night. Eight to ten hours a day??? After nine hours of class? You've got to be kidding.

11. They're expected to know everything. Everything! The name of the 8 billion-lettered, German sounding cell that lives in the depths of your inner ear, the technical term for the “no one's ever heard of this disease” disease that exists only on one foot of the Southern tip of the African continent. But ask them if your knee is swollen, or what you should do to tame your mucous-filled cough, or why the heck your head feels like someone's been drilling through it for oil for two weeks straight, and they won't have a clue. I have classmates who have done circumcisions, even before first year started. And we are already allowed to conduct medical missions, which involve patients consulting about just that--swollen limbs, coughs, headaches, and more. The whole point of med school is to prepare us for practice, not just to teach us the theories.

12. “My brain's filled with so much information, I can't be expected to remember THAT!" will be the standard excuse for forgetting anniversaries, birthdays, and, if you get this far, probably the birth of your first-born. Birthdays are birthdays and anniversaries are anniversaries. We still celebrate those. I'll celebrate my birthday even if I have to take a biochem exam then. Haha.

13. You'll need friends with unending patience who pretend never to get sick of listening to your endless venting and complaints. Or, you'll need to pay a therapist who will pretend never to get sick of listening to your endless venting and complaints. It's your choice if you want to spend your four or five years in med school complaining. But you should think about it if you do; maybe you shouldn't have taken med in the first place.

---

Of course I can only speak for UP Med students (and St. Luke's hehe). But seriously, whoever wrote this obviously is not a med student. Or maybe a med student from some sadistic med school. Don't underestimate us. We're still human. We're capable of more than just studying.

So much to be said

...after almost a month since my last post, and as I enter my fourth month in med.

For one thing, kaya ko naman pala. After two heartbreaks, I think I'm getting the hang of this. Of studying, that is. I've accepted the fact that I'm not naturally smart, and I don't have magical testmanship skills either. I've learned that it takes more than highlighting a trans to really understand it. Starting early really helps. And so does studying with a friend (CarlaBon!). I learned also not to believe in all feedback about exams or subjects i.e. 204 (Head and Neck) ang pinakamahirap sa OS series. I actually enjoyed 204. I hated 203 though (Skin, Muscles, Bones), and I'm am looking forward to 205 (Thorax).

To anyone else, my life now may seem quite routine and monotonous. Class from 8 to 5 everyday, with just an hour for lunch. I've never consumed so much coffee in my life. It is not only recommended that we study every night, but necessary that we do so. Starting three days in advance is already cramming. The circles under my eyes are darkening by the week. The only TV I get to watch is on weekends, and my internet time has been reduced to checking the class Yahoo! Groups for trans errata. As I drift off to sleep at around 2 a.m., my neurons are still firing with thoughts of sternocleidomastoids, thyroid ima arteries, inferior obliques, ansa cervicalises, lesser occipital nerves, foramen rotundums, etc etc etc.

But I'm happy where I am. I know that even as I sit through lectures upon lectures, willing myself not to fall asleep, that this is exactly where I want to be. I prepared myself for this throughout college, impatiently counting down the months, weeks, days until the first day of class. I want to be doctor more than anything. And if studying like mad for five years is what it'll take, then I'll do it. If memorizing the stages of swallowing or the roots and branches of the cervical plexus will help me save a life one day, then so be it. Always with the end in mind.

Of course, we all need our "small holidays." For me, a cup of yogurt topped with strawberries in syrup, mango, and cheesecake does the trick. So does time with Ruari, which I find myself longing, no, aching for as each week ends. And as much as possible, I don't compromise time with my family. No matter what exam is coming up, I have to go home for the weekend. I have so much to go home for, and I can only be thankful.

I know also that my life in med school can only get better, richer even. I'm looking forward to the second semester, and the years beyond with the wonderful girls who all made the same decision. I hope many more will do so. :)

An exam has been scheduled on my birthday. Biochem, nonetheless. So in anticipation of my special day, I will have to master the metabolism of carbohydrates, proteins, and lipids, bioenergetics, metabolic integration, metabolic regulation--all of which are completely new to me. Birthday blessings please? :)

The wind is whistling

and this is the view outside my window.

Adriatico Street.

Adriatico "clubhouse" between Towers 2 and 3.

What a lovely rainy day. :) Here's to our first suspension of classes (because of rain, and not AH1N1). I thought that didn't happen anymore in med school.

Basta pwede, go. :)

I made my ogre's day today. Despite his horrible exams (as he says). And that made my day. Despite the return of a sore throat and being how many pesosesoses poorer. Haha. Worth every centavo. :)

Happy birthday, dear Ruari. I love you so. But you know that already. Hee. :)

Week Three!

Actually I'm entering Week Four. So much has happened, and I am a bit sad at not having been able to document it all. Just off the top of my head--carsick/drunk car rides, adjusting to life inside a mall, finally deleting Minesweeper, getting to know my alphamates, mind-numbing scares, failing to win a steth or a laptop, sorority dine-outs, the Topshop private sale (for which I was late to class!), first scrubs day, inspiring professors, sleep-inducing professors, missing the PMHS Acquaintance Party, and love lost and found. Whew.

Weekends have never felt shorter. I pack so soon after I unpack. And I feel so disconnected from the universe! I've never appreciated the TV more. Not to mention the internet! Thank God Globe works well in Adriatico. I'm surprised to find that maintaining the household isn't so bad. We clean up after ourselves, dishes, garbage, and all. I call it the Domestication of Mindy. Haha. I still can't cook, but it's a start.

Jess is too good to me lately. I've been getting everything I want. And yet, I can't seem to stop asking for things. Jess, please let me pass my neuro exam. Jess, please take care of me as I drive home. Jess, please take care of my family while I'm gone. Jess, please let me fall asleep, I need to get up at seven. Jess, please keep me safe as I walk through Pedro Gil.

I still get shivers when I think that I am in the UP College of Medicine. I do hope that won't go away. Throughout the toxicity of med, I hope to never forget how lucky I am to be here.

Ang gaan-gaan ng feeling. :)

Be still, and know that I am God.

Celestamine high.

I'm all glazed over. I'm floating all the time. It's been three days of this doped-up-ness. Stupid contact dermatitis. Serves me right for trusting in a P70 henna.

Spent most of the day in the car. From a brief observation at the Pasig City General, to a uniform alteration in liblib Sta. Cruz, Manila, to waiting for over two hours while Lola gets her post-surgery eye checkup. I don't know how many more trips it'll take for me to finally find my way around that city. Driving to St. Luke's and back was adventure enough. Haha.

Multiply sucks. But I really don't want to have to transfer all my photos and stuff.

Eyelids are drooping. That is all.

Nice surprise. :)

Only someone who truly knows me and loves me would get me a book that says KILL YOU on the cover as a gift, knowing I would absolutely love it. We had to go all the way from Serendra to Greenhills to get it, too, because the last remaining copy was there. I'm so happy! This pretty much takes care of my reading time this week. :)

Thank you, my love. It's perfect. Happy un-anniversary. :) :)

Summer--extended!

I was all set to write my end-of-summer/first-day-jitters entry. I was half done packing, right down to my new pencil case filled with shiny new school supplies with price tags still on them. I had paced my reading so that I would finish The Almost Moon tomorrow night. I was already making the most of my last few nights here at home, before I move into the internet-less, water heater-less, TV-less Adriatico condo.

But nooo. Pres. Roman announced at 7:10 PM that the opening of classes in UP Manila is to be moved from June 8 to June 15. So I'm left with one more week to look forward to/dread the official start of med. And with the weather the way it is (and the H1N1 virus already having penetrated Manila) it's unlikely that I'll be able to go out of town, or do any summery things. My first reaction to the text was one of annoyance, not relief or excitement. Pardon the geekiness/overeagerness.

UPSIDE:

There's more time for reading! I have time to pick up another Jodi Picoult (or two) with my one remaining Powerbooks gift card. Or, since I'm kind of in the mood for something heavier, Atonement. There are also the various TV series I've yet to finish, namely Chuck, Pushing Daisies, House, and The Big Bang Theory. But TV has not really been my thing lately.

There's also time to visit Ruari! Since according to him, adik sila sa St. Luke's, it's unlikely that they'll be suspending their start of classes as well. So I can visit him this time. :) Bea also expressed a desire to meet up before classes start. And I don't need to mention more time to spend with the family, at home, not studying.

On another geeky/overeager note, there's more time to wrap my new school books, and label them too. Haha. :p

And, much as I hate to admit it, Facebook is consuming more and more of my internet time. I only just realized how dead Multiply is already. I guess it's time to get with the times. I will still upload my pictures to Multiply though. The photo upload feature of Facebook isn't as user-friendly.

The rain messes with your head.

I wanted to run outside and dance in the rain. Just because I've never really tried it before. At the risk of catching a cold just before classes start. But then I took one step out the door and got scared of the snails. And the possible frogs. Haha. It's quite sad. :))

I got more than a tan in Boracay.

I've always been a fan of girlie movies like Now and Then and The Sweetest Thing. I love how they're able to capture the dynamic of the relationship between girlfriends--all the craziness and silliness and drunken moments and hirits that only girls who've known each other forever can appreciate.

But I don't need a movie to get my fill of girlfriend love. I just spent four days in a beautiful island with two of my best friends. It's been a week since I left for Bora, and I miss it so much already--not just the sun, surf, and sand, but the girls as well. Bea, Melch, and I packed enough laughter into four days than a lot of people get in maybe four years. There were the inevitable misunderstandings, but nothing a friendship that's lasted over a decade couldn't withstand.


We've grown up together, these girls and I have. There are the stories that we tell over and over; they never seem to get old. We could blackmail each other with shameless photographs and romantic histories. We've gone through boyfriends, breakups, various fitness regimens, graduations. And we'll go through so much more together. Time and distance, be not proud.

These girls are proof that there are still a few things that can be counted on in this world. :)

Shut up, and put your money where your mouth is.

Bea finally made sense of it. It's like you're making a mockery of my lifelong dream. It's nothing but a joke to you. And it isn't funny at all. Time to get serious, honey.

Bikram yoga, American Idol results, among others

Despite the early mornings, the body aches, the daily drives, the endless errands, and the heat, this week has been one of my favorites of the summer. It's definitely been the most productive. I'm no longer spending practically every waking moment wishing I were in med already. And it's just two weeks away. Wah.

Bikram yoga takes most of the credit for this week. Melch asked me to enroll with her at Bikram Yoga Eastwood, where they offer a one-week unlimited trial for just P700. I immediately said I was game, since I really wanted to do something physical this summer. (Read: Get fit for Bora!!) And for P700, even attending just five days in the week would already be worth it.

I will never forget my first class, just last Monday. The heated room, the intensity of the postures, and the lack of food (I just had a banana for breakfast; you're actually not supposed to eat anything two or three hours before class) was just too much for my system. I had to sit out quite a few of the poses, fearing I would faint. As Melch put it, it was like doing yoga in a sauna. But the subsequent classes became much easier as my body grew accustomed to the practice. The poses were definitely challenging; it made the yoga class I took as a PE in second year seem like yoga for babies. :P And OMG, it was the most I had ever sweat in my life. I would already start dripping during the first breathing exercise, which is like the first two minutes of the 90-minute workout.

My last class was today (Friday), and I'm already starting to miss it. Just one week of Bikram made me feel thinner, fitter, and more energized. I wish I could have that all year-round. If only I had the disposable income and the flexible schedule to attend regularly (A one-month unlimited subscription costs P4000+). Maybe I'll save up for sembreak. Haha.

This week was also the first time I had the chance to drive myself every single day. Marlon's mom passed away, so he had to go on leave for the whole week. Thank goodness Eastwood is just fifteen minutes away from the house. Mom kept sending me on errands though, which I didn't really mind, except that I would be both tired and hungry, after coming from yoga. At least I was able to practice my parallel parking skills, as well as my directional skills. Haha. Driving can be enjoyable, when you're not trying to beat rush hour traffic, or puyat from studying all night.

Other than yoga and driving, I've also been preparing for an ukay-ukay our subdivision is holding along with the May festivities. I thought it would be a good idea to participate, not just to get rid of old clothes and other clutter that has accumulated in our household, but also to raise funds for condo furniture, med books, med equipment, etc. It's tomorrow already (Saturday), and I'm getting ready to relive my PMHS rummage sale days. Haha.

Not much TV this week, seeing as I've been out of the house almost all day, everyday. I did, however, consider attending a later yoga class in order to catch the American Idol finale. But I decided not to, and I had to shut out the world for a few hours, until the 6 PM replay on Star World. Honestly, I feel bad for Adam. I thought he deserved it more. I know he has a lot of haters out there, with his theatre background, his sexual orientation, his eccentric style (both in his appearance and his singing) and the fact that he was the clear favorite, but he was the better singer and performer, no doubt. And isn't that what Idol's really about? I loved that he seemed genuinely happy for Kris, though. And then again, maybe Kris needed the win more? Because Adam will definitely make it big, American Idol or not. As Paula said (and I rarely take the things she says seriously), he'll be iconic. :D

And while I did buy two new books with my Powerbooks gift cards, I've been busy rereading Harry Potter 6 and 7. I actually just wanted to read Book 6 again in anticipation of the movie (because I'll no longer have time for non-academic reading come June), but I had to continue on with Book 7. I realized I'd forgotten most of the details, so it's somewhat like reading them again for the first time. It's such a joy to be with Harry and the wizarding world again.

It turns out Ruari and I are both leaving this weekend--I for Boracay on Sunday morning and he for Guam tomorrow evening. We saw each other just one day this week. I'm glad, though, that we've both been enjoying summer. Here's to those last two weeks. :)

Grey's love!

The Grey's Anatomy season five two-hour finale was simply EPIC. There's no other word for it. It had me in tears and chills. This is a show I've followed all throughout college, and this episode has just renewed my love for it completely. I can't wait for season six. Anatomy and biochem and physio be damned; you know I'll be tuned in every week.

"Doctors spend a lot of time focused on the future.
Planning it. Working toward it.
But at some point, you start to realize: your life is happening now.
Not after med school, not after residency.
Right now. This is it. It's here.
Blink and you'll miss it."

Thanks, Meredith. :D

Futility.

I had the bright idea of waking up early this morning and going with Papa to work. I wanted to visit Powerbooks Megamall to make use of the gift cards that Ate Rina sent as my graduation gift. They have been burning a hole in my wallet since they arrived last week. I even killed time in San Miguel, researching titles on Amazon.com, before Megamall opened at 10. I always like being prepared when I go to the bookstore, so that I don't waste my money on books that turn out to be a disappointment.

I spent over an hour at Powerbooks. Normally I like spending any amount of time in a bookstore. But this visit just left me frustrated and hungry. Of the five or six books I'd found interesting on Amazon, I could find none of them in Powerbooks. They were either out of stock, or at another branch. What sucks is that I specifically went to the Megamall branch because it's one of the bigger ones, and, I assumed, one of the better-stocked ones. What sucks more is that I know the books I want are in Fully Booked. If only the gift cards were transferable. Sigh.

I'm consoling myself with the thought that I can check out Powerbooks in Robinson's Place tomorrow, when I go for my physical exam. I hope I have better luck there. Oh, I did end up buying a book pala. I got Mapping the Edge by Sarah Dunant. It wasn't on my list but I also came across it on Amazon. And I loved Dunant's Birth of Venus (I made the mistake of lending it to someone who never returned it), so I'm quite hopeful for this one.

The other thing I wanted to do this morning was to get myself registered for next year's elections. Marlon and I went to the Pasig City Hall to try our luck. I wasn't very hopeful though, as it was already nearing noon. But this was already our second try. The guard told us 'di na kayo aabot and to try another time, and to go at 5 AM, because the lines fill up fast and they only serve 120. Exaaaag okay. Ganyan pala ka-hassle mag-rehistro para bumoto. And I was trying to be a responsible citizen.

In other news:

I hate when people blow their own horn. Please stop advertising yourself. Nakukulitan na 'ko.

AND

It's always nice to be remembered. Never nice to be forgotten. No matter what. Nakakawalang-gana.

I forgot to mention

I know my last entry was less than two hours ago, but I just remembered that Ruari and I saw this at Fully Booked Greenhills today and had the best time leafing through it.

It's around P1000. I want!
(Haha, as if I won't be spending enough on med books as it is.)

I realized that I miss music. I haven't been listening to any. Except for Jai Ho, which seems to be on repeat on all the radio stations' players. Lord. I need to download new songs, and the drive to do the downloading. I hate opening Limewire; it slows down everything. Gee, that rhymes.

Limbo

That's how I feel right now. Stuck in limbo. Transitioning between college and med school. Somewhat missing the past, and anxious about the future.

On the one hand, it's allowed me a much-needed break. I'm not attending class, I'm not reading any textbooks, I'm not cramming for exams--all of which I will definitely be doing a lot of come June. Instead, I've been sleeping until noon, failing at my diet, not exercising, finally trying to catch up on my reading, and watching more TV than I have in years. Seriously, I'm currently following Grey's Anatomy, Gossip Girl, Pushing Daisies, The Big Bang Theory, Chuck, and Brothers and Sisters. Oh, and American Idol. That's a lot for someone who typically watches only cooking shows late at night because they're non-scary and they're the perfect background noise for when I'm studying.

On the other hand, I'm desperately waiting for school to start. The few who actually read this blog know that there is no topic that I write about more often than med. I can't wait to finally become a med student, complete with the white uniform (which we can't wear until July, sadly). I'm excited to start living in Adriatico with Karen and Sam. The nerdy part of me wants to order my textbooks as soon as possible, so I can start reading already. And I haven't even enrolled yet! I haven't even been through the physical exam, or undergone psychological testing, which are scheduled this Thursday and Friday, respectively. I haven't even been cleared from Diliman yet, for God's sake.

Speaking of med books. I knew med would be expensive, but I had no idea how much until now. Forget books, I'm only talking about tuition here. When my mom and I inquired at the admissions office about a month ago, they told us it would be around P30,000. So naturally I was shocked to find out just last week that it would actually be P50,000, for the first semester alone. How lucky for us, the class of 2014, that the administration decide to increase the tuition fee this very year. It's still hard to wrap my mind around the fact that my tuition for just one semester in med will roughly equal the cost of my entire undergrad education. And that's just tuition! There's also books, as mentioned. And uniforms, rent, furniture, medical equipment like steth and sphygmo, and who knows what else. Oh, the guilt. I can't help but think again of how I could be working and helping my parents out instead of being an additional burden to them. Hay.

So anyway, going back, limbo. Summer has been limbo for me. I'm enjoying it, yes, but also can't wait for it to be over, as though the moment summer ends is the moment my life starts again. It does sound sad, doesn't it? It totally violates my live in the here and now motto of two summers ago. I blame it all on my being so un-busy this past year and a half. I need work to get my mind working and blood pumping again.

I know I'll be sorry I said that, but yeah.

And oh, I did not just come back from Boracay, as originally scheduled. Due to certain conflicts, Bea, Melch, and I moved our trip to the 24th, until the 27th. Still hoping Fen can come with us. And praying for good weather. No more storms, please?

Graduation weekend

It's now Wednesday afternoon, three days after an incredibly eventful graduation weekend. I meant to write about everything sooner, but I guess I've just been reeling. I've spent the past three days at home, catching up on Grey's Anatomy and other shows via SurfTheChannel or SideReel, save for yesterday afternoon, when Ruari and I watched 17 Again, as per Karen's recommendation. I haven't been able to get myself to exercise, which I sorely need after having indulged myself over the weekend. Not to mention the occasional potato chips and cookies here at home while watching my shows.

Anyway, grad. Saturday was the College of Social Sciences and Philosophy Graduation at the University Theater, while Sunday was the University Graduation at the Quezon Hall Amphitheatre. Now looking back, the two days were mostly a blur of sablays, white dresses, medals, flashing cameras, lining up in the heat, sorority paraphernalia, heels sinking in the grass, and endless smiles. But there was also a delicious family dinner, a hospital visit, an alarming fire, a miraculous sunny day following a rainy week, and a renewed friendship. :)

All in all, it was a wonderful graduation. I really couldn't have asked for anything more. Except for that brief moment when I thought I might lose something so precious, the weekend was perfect. I felt too blessed, if such a thing were possible.

Amidst all the excitement for med, graduation gave me a chance to also relish my last moments as an undergrad, to reminisce on my four-year stint as a psych major in UP Diliman. Though I didn't shed any tears, nor was I able to sing UP Naming Mahal without looking at the lyrics, I still very much felt the UP spirit. School spirit is not something I feel everyday, unlike students from other universities. But I felt it then, and I felt thankful. Thankful for the past four years behind me, and thankful as well for the five years yet to come, all of which I have carried and will proudly carry the name Iskolar ng Bayan. :)

Ruari took this. :) Could I pass for a college graduate?

Time is nothing.

I finished The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger last night. It brought me to tears. I hate and love the way the end was so beautifully and heart-wrenchingly sad. Actually the entire book can be described that way. It's one of those novels that often read more like poetry than prose. It's also one of those that remind me why I love reading, one of those that make me wonder how I could have gone so long without reading anything this good.

I wanted to write about it as soon as I finished, but it was already late and I had to get to sleep. Then today (yesterday) was a busy day, so I didn't have time to sit down and blog either. It was only as I was fixing the fin stuff that for my turnover to Mich, when OneRepublic's Stop and Stare started playing on my iTunes that I felt the urge once more. It's not a song I'm particularly fond of or anything. But for some reason, it brought back that heavy, nostalgic feeling I get at the end of a good book, especially if it is a long one. It is a sadness that is not simply due to the nature of the ending, but also to the loss of the characters that have entered my life and have become a part of me. I remember feeling the same way for Aragorn and Frodo and Arwen after The Return of the King, for Harry and Ron and Hermione after Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and even (I admit) for Bella and Edward at the end of Breaking Dawn.

I haven't been hit this hard by a novel in a while. Even Murakami's Norwegian Wood failed to touch me this much. I'd rather not read anything new for a while; I want to bask in the memory of Clare and Henry's story just a little while longer. Maybe I'll even read it all over again.

The movie's scheduled for release in August. I'm excited for it, and I know I'll enjoy it and probably cry some more. But of course, as these things usually go, the movie will be nowhere near as beautiful as the book.

Very good job on casting Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams as Henry and Clare, I think. Photo taken from IMDb.com.

Sendoff 2009

I just got back from my third and last PMHS sendoff. As with the first two times, it definitely felt longer than an overnight trip. Possibly because, just like the first two times, I got very little sleep, most of which was had in the car on the way home.

What made this sendoff different was that I was a sendoffee this time. It felt really nice not to have to help prepare food, assemble souvenirs, or coordinate transpo. I didn't even have to pay for anything. :p That scav hunt they put us through was such a workout though. I initially just wanted to relax and not have to play any games or what, but I have to admit that I really enjoyed it. Especially since Tribe Kiat-Kiat won. Haha competitive forever. :p

I was so impressed by how the whole sendoff turned out, how the mems and inductees pulled everything off. The venue was really nice, not as far as last year's, and with a really pretty beach, too. The waves were the best! The food was great, especially that heavenly chocolate fondue. A lot of us just wanted to drink that chocolate straight. Transpo couldn't have been easy to fix, with so many mems and inductees in attendance, even if we were just ten sendoffees. The Survivor theme, from the welcoming spiel, to the scav hunt, to the touching AVP, to the candle torch ceremony, was truly inspired. And I love the souvenirs! The little Survivor dolls are the cutest. Thank you and congrats again, PMHS 09-10, if any of you happen to be reading this. :)

Thank you, love, for this weekend. As I've already told you, it meant the world to me that you came. Even if you injured my arm before we'd left UP. Haha! I took one for the team na ha? :) Thank you for taking care of me and not letting me drown in my drunken stupor. I really hope you had fun, too; I'm glad you enjoyed the waves, the fondue, and your ultimate frisbee. I really prayed for this sendoff, and you know why. I guess we've come full circle, huh? I couldn't be happier. I'm a lucky little ogress. :)

[EDIT 19 April, 8:34PM]

Thanks, Burn, for this picture. :)

Busy summer

Two weeks of summer already, and there hasn't been much to write about. Or, there's been too much to write about that I haven't really had time to sit and document it all. It's hard to imagine that other people are in summer class, while I'm just here. Basking in freedom. Haha. Please excuse my gloating. :p I think I've earned it, after two years without summer, one of which was devoted to Bio 102.

But it's not as if I've just been bumming. I haven't even had the chance to clean out my room or my laptop yet. I still haven't seen the last two or three episodes of Gossip Girl. In fact, not much of my summer so far has been spent at home. As I mentioned previously, I attended the last Days batch. Though I left early, it was still a weekend well spent. Not long after was Holy Week, which my family and I spent in Crosswinds. Sadly, the weather in Tagaytay is not much different from Manila anymore. Hardly any need to bring a sweater. I miss January.

Ruari and I have been seeing each other more as well, and we're helping each other live a healthy summer lifestyle. We've jogged in UP a few times (he goes more often I do). On days that I can't, I try to do tae bo via my ancient Billy Blanks 30-minute workout video. I still think it's the perfect workout; I've done it so much that I think I can pretty much do it in my sleep. The diet is on as well. I've bought yogurt, fruit cups, light popcorn, Yakult, romaine lettuce, among others. I can't give up dessert and chocolate entirely, though. Especially now that Starbucks has revived their dark mocha frappuccino, which is such love.

I've also had to fix stuff for the grad party, which is next week already! I only realized today that I'm graduating next weekend and I haven't bought a dress dresses--and shoes! Time to do some shopping--again, much deserved, since I haven't really shopped since Christmas. Haha.

There's also the last of the my PMHS duties to fulfill. Fin report, allotment for our beneficiary, turnover of files to Mich. And sendoff is this weekend, I'm so excited. :) I actually just came home from our Execoun turnover, which we had at the Old Vine Grill in Eastwood. It was a good turnover this year. However, certain matters did arise and must be addressed.

Now, more than ever, I am so sure I made the right decision. I have absolutely no regrets. I don't know if it is bitterness you're showing, or you really just tend to act without thinking. It is as if words just come out of you without a second thought on the possible repercussions. Get your facts straight before you speak, please. I hate that I might be leaving on a sour note, but I can't deny how I feel. I was shaking when I was telling Ruari about it. I am both frustrated and disappointed. I don't think I deserve any of that. None of us do. And I doubt that any explanation of yours will satisfy me. A retraction perhaps, but not an explanation. You need to take it back.

Can I graduate?

I've been waiting all semester to answer the question posed by Third Eye Blind way back when. And the answer is

YES I CAN!
Unless I happen to fail 135 and/or chem lab, that is. Haha.

The point is, I'm done! I'm free, I'm finished with college forever. Karen, Mico, Lee-Ann, JoyBee and I finished our 135 proposal at around 3:00 AM yesterday morning, and were able to submit at 1:00 PM. It feels sooo good to have a little less to think about. It's finally summer! :D

I'm off to Days in a bit. I have mixed feelings about this batch. For one thing, it may most likely be my last time to be a committee head. A part of me is relieved, sad as it may sound. I guess growing up and moving on, even from one of the things I cherished most in college, is inevitable.

But as usual, I am thankful for this weekend. Though I'll be working, it's still a retreat, in every sense of the word. There are so many things, and so many people to pray for. Jess only knows.

Condo hunt completed

For the first time ever, my current address won't be identical to my permanent address.

Hello, Two Adriatico! :D

We had the contract-signing for our studio unit today. I'm so relieved to finally get that settled. I really was so worried that Karen and I would be left homeless in Manila. Haha not really, but still. Had I confirmed just two hours later, somebody else would have gotten it. It pays to panic sometimes. :) Although I had to go to mass today...

Now all that's lacking is furniture and a third roommate. My excitement level continues to soar. :D

The kiddie-like play

In keeping with summer mode, Ruari and I went swimming this morning. He arrived at the house at quarter to eight, which is the earliest he's ever been here, as far as I know. After a big breakfast of Spanish omelette and chipolata sausages prepared by Mama, we went to the village clubhouse, where the pool was practically empty. The water was nice and cool, and we had the pool practically all to ourselves. Just one complaint though--the water was overchlorinated, and it made the skin on my nose burn. We swam only until ten, since Ruari needed to be home for lunch and more and more people were arriving to swim.

I felt so, so tired after swimming that I took a two-hour nap. I woke up at one and had a late lunch. I planned to attend the Days meeting, which I assumed was at three-thirty like the one two weeks ago. So after lunch I was just killing time until three, surfing the internet and whatnot. It was only when Mich texted at two-thirty asking if I was still coming to the meeting did I think that I might have gotten the time wrong. When I checked the emails about the meeting, they read 1 PM SEC FOYER. Haha. Serves me right for skimming over emails.

We sort of participated in Earth Hour. Mom and I turned off everything in the house except for a couple of lights and the aircon. She said she wouldn't be able to take the heat, even for just an hour. No big deal, really. Honestly, there are better ways to take a stand against global warming. Ruari said they even staged a show at the Mall of Asia and there were a bunch of Earth Hour features on TV precisely during Earth Hour. How ironic.

That's all. Just wanted to document my nice morning, sabog afternoon, and dark evening. Haha.

And oh! Sir Sumera replied to my email last night. I passed the Chem 31 third exam and am exempted from finals! :D I'm not even considering taking it anyway to possibly raise my grade. Goodbye forever, organic chemistry! Now just 135 to deal with.

Float like a butterfly

I feel like I've been floating these past few days. I guess it's all of this transition. I'm facing the last week of my college life, summer is beckoning, and I'm slowly preparing myself for life in med school. I so, so want to move forward already, but these last few requirements (135 proposal, 135 third exam, possible chem finals) are still in my way, breaking my stride. Not to mention the last of my PMHS duties, Days music committee duties, and Grad party logistics duties. Sometimes I forget why I signed up for all of this. Haha.

Monday was chem examSS day. This meant that I spent most of the weekend trying in vain to memorize all of the mechanisms of reactions, the reagents to be used in characterizing organic compounds, their visible results, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Though I was able to enjoy parts of Saturday and Sunday (Melch's birthday dinner and lunch at Lola's), my brain felt so exhausted after being fed with so much organic chemistry that I really just wanted to get the exams (lec and lab) over with. Finals na kung finals. Thus, with around 45 minutes still left in the time allotted for the lec exam, Lee-Ann and I submitted our blue books and headed straight to Cantina for a much-needed, celebratory weng-weng. Now I'm not much of a drinker (as my lack of tolerance is rather shameful); I've never seen the point of cutting class to go drinking, or to go drinking every single night, but once in a while it really does feel soooo good.

On that same day, our helper, Yaya Sonia gave birth to a baby boy. There were a number of complications to the point that we were afraid she might need a Caesarean section, but thankfully she was able to deliver normally. On Tuesday we visited her at the Pasig City General Hospital. She was fine, recovering from her stitches, but reeling from the unkind treatment she received from the attending OB/Gyn. She kept saying this doctor was masama ang ugali, with no care at all in handling her patients. Her examination of Yaya Sonia was quick and painful, simply saying "kaya mong i-normal [delivery] yan."And this was nothing to how she stitched up Yaya after the delivery. Yaya said it was so painful, as though there was no anesthetic administered to her. But this doctor didn't care. She just went right on doing her "job." Yaya Sonia couldn't take it anymore, so she ran out of the room, not completely sewn up yet, and screaming that she wouldn't go back there unless another doctor did the job. Fortunately they found another one, and Yaya was fine. That OB/Gyn, however, was reported by my mom to her doctor friend. Hopefully something is done about her, because she really should not be practicing medicine at all, much less treating expectant mothers in delicate conditions. Though she works at a government hospital and probably receives little pay, there is no excuse.

The good news it that Yaya Sonia's little boy, Gian Karlo, is doing well, though he was hooked up to an IV when we saw him. He was born weighing six pounds, and is already looking very mestizo. :)

Yesterday was my last day of class in college. It didn't really feel like it though, because there's still so much to be done. After class, Karen and I headed to UPCM to submit our confirmation letters and view condo units. We were able to see five condos, three of which look very promising. We had a yummy merienda at MoMo afterwards. Definitely going back there to try their dessert. Karen also gave me a tour of the Tahilan Study Center, which is really nice and homey.

Okay this has been long enough. Sabog much? Haha. I'm off.