Graduation weekend

It's now Wednesday afternoon, three days after an incredibly eventful graduation weekend. I meant to write about everything sooner, but I guess I've just been reeling. I've spent the past three days at home, catching up on Grey's Anatomy and other shows via SurfTheChannel or SideReel, save for yesterday afternoon, when Ruari and I watched 17 Again, as per Karen's recommendation. I haven't been able to get myself to exercise, which I sorely need after having indulged myself over the weekend. Not to mention the occasional potato chips and cookies here at home while watching my shows.

Anyway, grad. Saturday was the College of Social Sciences and Philosophy Graduation at the University Theater, while Sunday was the University Graduation at the Quezon Hall Amphitheatre. Now looking back, the two days were mostly a blur of sablays, white dresses, medals, flashing cameras, lining up in the heat, sorority paraphernalia, heels sinking in the grass, and endless smiles. But there was also a delicious family dinner, a hospital visit, an alarming fire, a miraculous sunny day following a rainy week, and a renewed friendship. :)

All in all, it was a wonderful graduation. I really couldn't have asked for anything more. Except for that brief moment when I thought I might lose something so precious, the weekend was perfect. I felt too blessed, if such a thing were possible.

Amidst all the excitement for med, graduation gave me a chance to also relish my last moments as an undergrad, to reminisce on my four-year stint as a psych major in UP Diliman. Though I didn't shed any tears, nor was I able to sing UP Naming Mahal without looking at the lyrics, I still very much felt the UP spirit. School spirit is not something I feel everyday, unlike students from other universities. But I felt it then, and I felt thankful. Thankful for the past four years behind me, and thankful as well for the five years yet to come, all of which I have carried and will proudly carry the name Iskolar ng Bayan. :)

Ruari took this. :) Could I pass for a college graduate?

Sendoff 2009

I just got back from my third and last PMHS sendoff. As with the first two times, it definitely felt longer than an overnight trip. Possibly because, just like the first two times, I got very little sleep, most of which was had in the car on the way home.

What made this sendoff different was that I was a sendoffee this time. It felt really nice not to have to help prepare food, assemble souvenirs, or coordinate transpo. I didn't even have to pay for anything. :p That scav hunt they put us through was such a workout though. I initially just wanted to relax and not have to play any games or what, but I have to admit that I really enjoyed it. Especially since Tribe Kiat-Kiat won. Haha competitive forever. :p

I was so impressed by how the whole sendoff turned out, how the mems and inductees pulled everything off. The venue was really nice, not as far as last year's, and with a really pretty beach, too. The waves were the best! The food was great, especially that heavenly chocolate fondue. A lot of us just wanted to drink that chocolate straight. Transpo couldn't have been easy to fix, with so many mems and inductees in attendance, even if we were just ten sendoffees. The Survivor theme, from the welcoming spiel, to the scav hunt, to the touching AVP, to the candle torch ceremony, was truly inspired. And I love the souvenirs! The little Survivor dolls are the cutest. Thank you and congrats again, PMHS 09-10, if any of you happen to be reading this. :)

Thank you, love, for this weekend. As I've already told you, it meant the world to me that you came. Even if you injured my arm before we'd left UP. Haha! I took one for the team na ha? :) Thank you for taking care of me and not letting me drown in my drunken stupor. I really hope you had fun, too; I'm glad you enjoyed the waves, the fondue, and your ultimate frisbee. I really prayed for this sendoff, and you know why. I guess we've come full circle, huh? I couldn't be happier. I'm a lucky little ogress. :)

[EDIT 19 April, 8:34PM]

Thanks, Burn, for this picture. :)

Busy summer

Two weeks of summer already, and there hasn't been much to write about. Or, there's been too much to write about that I haven't really had time to sit and document it all. It's hard to imagine that other people are in summer class, while I'm just here. Basking in freedom. Haha. Please excuse my gloating. :p I think I've earned it, after two years without summer, one of which was devoted to Bio 102.

But it's not as if I've just been bumming. I haven't even had the chance to clean out my room or my laptop yet. I still haven't seen the last two or three episodes of Gossip Girl. In fact, not much of my summer so far has been spent at home. As I mentioned previously, I attended the last Days batch. Though I left early, it was still a weekend well spent. Not long after was Holy Week, which my family and I spent in Crosswinds. Sadly, the weather in Tagaytay is not much different from Manila anymore. Hardly any need to bring a sweater. I miss January.

Ruari and I have been seeing each other more as well, and we're helping each other live a healthy summer lifestyle. We've jogged in UP a few times (he goes more often I do). On days that I can't, I try to do tae bo via my ancient Billy Blanks 30-minute workout video. I still think it's the perfect workout; I've done it so much that I think I can pretty much do it in my sleep. The diet is on as well. I've bought yogurt, fruit cups, light popcorn, Yakult, romaine lettuce, among others. I can't give up dessert and chocolate entirely, though. Especially now that Starbucks has revived their dark mocha frappuccino, which is such love.

I've also had to fix stuff for the grad party, which is next week already! I only realized today that I'm graduating next weekend and I haven't bought a dress dresses--and shoes! Time to do some shopping--again, much deserved, since I haven't really shopped since Christmas. Haha.

There's also the last of the my PMHS duties to fulfill. Fin report, allotment for our beneficiary, turnover of files to Mich. And sendoff is this weekend, I'm so excited. :) I actually just came home from our Execoun turnover, which we had at the Old Vine Grill in Eastwood. It was a good turnover this year. However, certain matters did arise and must be addressed.

Now, more than ever, I am so sure I made the right decision. I have absolutely no regrets. I don't know if it is bitterness you're showing, or you really just tend to act without thinking. It is as if words just come out of you without a second thought on the possible repercussions. Get your facts straight before you speak, please. I hate that I might be leaving on a sour note, but I can't deny how I feel. I was shaking when I was telling Ruari about it. I am both frustrated and disappointed. I don't think I deserve any of that. None of us do. And I doubt that any explanation of yours will satisfy me. A retraction perhaps, but not an explanation. You need to take it back.

Can I graduate?

I've been waiting all semester to answer the question posed by Third Eye Blind way back when. And the answer is

YES I CAN!
Unless I happen to fail 135 and/or chem lab, that is. Haha.

The point is, I'm done! I'm free, I'm finished with college forever. Karen, Mico, Lee-Ann, JoyBee and I finished our 135 proposal at around 3:00 AM yesterday morning, and were able to submit at 1:00 PM. It feels sooo good to have a little less to think about. It's finally summer! :D

I'm off to Days in a bit. I have mixed feelings about this batch. For one thing, it may most likely be my last time to be a committee head. A part of me is relieved, sad as it may sound. I guess growing up and moving on, even from one of the things I cherished most in college, is inevitable.

But as usual, I am thankful for this weekend. Though I'll be working, it's still a retreat, in every sense of the word. There are so many things, and so many people to pray for. Jess only knows.

The kiddie-like play

In keeping with summer mode, Ruari and I went swimming this morning. He arrived at the house at quarter to eight, which is the earliest he's ever been here, as far as I know. After a big breakfast of Spanish omelette and chipolata sausages prepared by Mama, we went to the village clubhouse, where the pool was practically empty. The water was nice and cool, and we had the pool practically all to ourselves. Just one complaint though--the water was overchlorinated, and it made the skin on my nose burn. We swam only until ten, since Ruari needed to be home for lunch and more and more people were arriving to swim.

I felt so, so tired after swimming that I took a two-hour nap. I woke up at one and had a late lunch. I planned to attend the Days meeting, which I assumed was at three-thirty like the one two weeks ago. So after lunch I was just killing time until three, surfing the internet and whatnot. It was only when Mich texted at two-thirty asking if I was still coming to the meeting did I think that I might have gotten the time wrong. When I checked the emails about the meeting, they read 1 PM SEC FOYER. Haha. Serves me right for skimming over emails.

We sort of participated in Earth Hour. Mom and I turned off everything in the house except for a couple of lights and the aircon. She said she wouldn't be able to take the heat, even for just an hour. No big deal, really. Honestly, there are better ways to take a stand against global warming. Ruari said they even staged a show at the Mall of Asia and there were a bunch of Earth Hour features on TV precisely during Earth Hour. How ironic.

That's all. Just wanted to document my nice morning, sabog afternoon, and dark evening. Haha.

And oh! Sir Sumera replied to my email last night. I passed the Chem 31 third exam and am exempted from finals! :D I'm not even considering taking it anyway to possibly raise my grade. Goodbye forever, organic chemistry! Now just 135 to deal with.

Float like a butterfly

I feel like I've been floating these past few days. I guess it's all of this transition. I'm facing the last week of my college life, summer is beckoning, and I'm slowly preparing myself for life in med school. I so, so want to move forward already, but these last few requirements (135 proposal, 135 third exam, possible chem finals) are still in my way, breaking my stride. Not to mention the last of my PMHS duties, Days music committee duties, and Grad party logistics duties. Sometimes I forget why I signed up for all of this. Haha.

Monday was chem examSS day. This meant that I spent most of the weekend trying in vain to memorize all of the mechanisms of reactions, the reagents to be used in characterizing organic compounds, their visible results, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Though I was able to enjoy parts of Saturday and Sunday (Melch's birthday dinner and lunch at Lola's), my brain felt so exhausted after being fed with so much organic chemistry that I really just wanted to get the exams (lec and lab) over with. Finals na kung finals. Thus, with around 45 minutes still left in the time allotted for the lec exam, Lee-Ann and I submitted our blue books and headed straight to Cantina for a much-needed, celebratory weng-weng. Now I'm not much of a drinker (as my lack of tolerance is rather shameful); I've never seen the point of cutting class to go drinking, or to go drinking every single night, but once in a while it really does feel soooo good.

On that same day, our helper, Yaya Sonia gave birth to a baby boy. There were a number of complications to the point that we were afraid she might need a Caesarean section, but thankfully she was able to deliver normally. On Tuesday we visited her at the Pasig City General Hospital. She was fine, recovering from her stitches, but reeling from the unkind treatment she received from the attending OB/Gyn. She kept saying this doctor was masama ang ugali, with no care at all in handling her patients. Her examination of Yaya Sonia was quick and painful, simply saying "kaya mong i-normal [delivery] yan."And this was nothing to how she stitched up Yaya after the delivery. Yaya said it was so painful, as though there was no anesthetic administered to her. But this doctor didn't care. She just went right on doing her "job." Yaya Sonia couldn't take it anymore, so she ran out of the room, not completely sewn up yet, and screaming that she wouldn't go back there unless another doctor did the job. Fortunately they found another one, and Yaya was fine. That OB/Gyn, however, was reported by my mom to her doctor friend. Hopefully something is done about her, because she really should not be practicing medicine at all, much less treating expectant mothers in delicate conditions. Though she works at a government hospital and probably receives little pay, there is no excuse.

The good news it that Yaya Sonia's little boy, Gian Karlo, is doing well, though he was hooked up to an IV when we saw him. He was born weighing six pounds, and is already looking very mestizo. :)

Yesterday was my last day of class in college. It didn't really feel like it though, because there's still so much to be done. After class, Karen and I headed to UPCM to submit our confirmation letters and view condo units. We were able to see five condos, three of which look very promising. We had a yummy merienda at MoMo afterwards. Definitely going back there to try their dessert. Karen also gave me a tour of the Tahilan Study Center, which is really nice and homey.

Okay this has been long enough. Sabog much? Haha. I'm off.

Losing steam

I meant to blog earlier, but I never found the time until now. This is partly due to my computer almost crashing last Monday. I made the silly mistake of installing an antivirus program without first disabling the expired one. Duh. Then there was my toothache last Wednesday, which I suspect is due to an emerging wisdom tooth. One more thing to deal with this summer.

Of course I am writing away the time I should be spending on aldehydes, ketones, carbohydrates, carboxylic acids, fats, oils, and amines. Not to mention Experiments 10-16 AND nomenclature. I don't feel pressured at all, which is so wrong, especially since I'm still hopelessly holding on to the dream of being exempted from lec finals. I've always had the tendency to lose steam at the last stretch. Hay.

Not really applicable to us med students (yehess!), but amusing, as always. :P

There are days and there are days. I'm counting them down now, more than ever. I'm so excited to just go condo-hunting and furniture-shopping. Not to mention finally fulfilling my Boracay dreams.

Four years in the making! Yaaaay. :D

There's a certain ogre I'm so, so, so proud of. I couldn't believe it when you told me that it was 31 days that you spent studying in the library, straight after class until the wee hours of the morning. Thirty-one consecutive days. I'm still amazed. You so deserve your shaved head, your four(?)-day vacation, and ALL the sleep you can sleep.

Have fun in Bataan and Zambales, love. Don't forget me. :)

Dreaming of summer

With three weeks left in my life as an undergraduate and with this insane heat already settling upon the metro, it's so hard not to be on summer mode yet. And as I always say when I'm at the final stretch of every semester, I just want to get it over with.

It refers to all, but not limited to, of the following:
Chem 31.1 unknown analysis
Chem 31 third exam
Chem 31.1 final exam
135 quizzes 1-4
135 experiment 7
135 third exam
Chem 31 final exam, if I should be so unlucky

Apart from being free of all academic load, there's one important reason I'm looking forward to summer.

It'll be our third.

:)

Talking sh** about a pretty sunset

It was a nice, slow weekend. I didn't really go out, save for a quick dinner with Ruari last Friday (Pancake House, where we ordered pancakes, potato salad, and meatless pasta). Tagaytay doesn't count much, since it's still technically our home. I specifically requested for us to spend our weekend there, for it was one of the rare occasions when I didn't have to attend any activity and had little work to do. I love my family for giving in to my wishes, despite Papa having to give up tennis, despite Monch's need to study for final exams, and despite having to face traffic on SLEX (we left at 4ish). We watched Slumdog Millionaire, ate good food, heard a good mass at Focolare, and generally enjoyed each other's company.

I think it was Karen who asked whether I liked sunrise or sunset more. Other than the fact that I'm rarely up to witness sunrise, I just love the colors of sunset. These were a couple of pictures I took on our way to Tagaytay, at around 6:00 PM. I wanted to capture the way the white, pink, blue, and purple lights swept across the sky, though I couldn't do much with a non-SLR camera inside a moving car. I still like the effect that came out--especially the way the trees fade like wisps of smoke in the second photo.

I spent the whole day at home today, primarily because I chose not to attend the Pi Gamma Mu induction ceremony. I figured the only use I'd ever have for it would be if I wanted to obtain a scholarship for a fellowship abroad in the future. I'm hoping that by that time, I'd have credentials other than my membership in an honor society that was expensive and didn't really do much for its members except to give them an extra line in their resumes. (Actually, my resume can read invited to the Pi Gamma Mu Honor Society, haha.) If ever, Ate Carol said I can still get inducted next year. Also, I'm leaning towards joining Phi Kappa Phi instead, since this one is an all-discipline honor society, not limited to the social sciences. Seriously, my parents have more important things to use their money on then my membership to two honor societies. Yay for more responsible spending!

Anyway, I spent today at home. I watched a few episodes of House Season 5, and slept slept slept. I'm still recuperating from my cold and cough; my voice hasn't gone back to its normal, non-sexy-bedroom state. I think the cool, fresh Tagaytay air did me a lot of good, though. However, summer has officially started (according to PAGASA), and the heat definitely doesn't help much.

The coming of summer has, thankfully, motivated me to finally start dieting for real. I'm not following any strict plan like the three-day diet, nor am I completely depriving myself of any type of food. It's more of making better choices, such as choosing to order a sandwich with tuna instead of one with bacon. Or opting for water instead of iced tea or any other sugar-laden beverage. I'm also trying to minimize on rice and dessert. The dessert part is harder, especially since we've just loaded up on treats from Rowena's--bañadas, cassava cake, and napoleones! :((

Let me end this post with a quote from Haruki Murakami's Norwegian Wood, a book I've put off reading for quite some time, and I don't really know why.

"I can never say what I want to say," continued Naoko. "It's been like this for a while now. I try to saysomething, but all I get are the wrong words -- the wrong words or the exact opposite words from what I mean. I try to correct myself, and that only makes it worse. I lose track of what I was trying to say to begin with. It's like I'm split in two and playing tag with myself. One half is chasing the other half around this big, fat post. The other me has the right words, but this me can't catch her."

Have a good week, everyone. :)

I give up on thinking of song lyrics to use as blog entry titles

Despite my innate ability to memorize song lyrics (that I so wish were applicable to chemical reaction mechanisms) and to come up with a song for every occasion, I knew I'd run out sooner or later. There is no song I can pull off the top of my head that describes the way I feel at this moment. It's a mix of things, really.

Sick. I feel very sick. My sore throat from last Saturday has finally developed into a full-blown cold. And thank God, too; I was beginning to think it was tonsillitis. A cold is definitely the lesser evil, despite the runny nose, postnasal drip, body malaise, and general lethargy it brings. At least I don't have a fever. It's already starting to become a cough, though, and I will soon need to bring out our trusty nebulizer. Yep, this pattern of cold-cough-asthma is one I know all too well. It hits at least once every semester, usually around the time the weather starts to change.

Shocked. I received a very late reply from Sir Sumera, my org chem professor, regarding the schedule of the chem exam (which took place two days ago). He said, Hi Carmina, Tuloy ang exam. The next thing he told me was my score in the said exam. Suffice it to say it was much better than I expected, especially since I fully expected to fail. Maybe watching the Oscars on the morning of the exam brought me luck? Remind me to never, ever miss the Oscars, especially when it falls on an exam day.

Super proud. Haha, keeping in line with the s alliteration. I'm super proud of my orgmates who were elected into the University Student Council for the academic year 2009-2010:
Titus Tan, USC Chairperson
Lee Tan, USC Councilor. Go buddy! :) Yay for the Tan dynasty!

Sad. I was with my mom at Ate Cecille's birthday party last night when she received the news about Amiel Alcantara. He was a Grade 4 student at the Ateneo who was pinned between two cars yesterday, as he was crossing the street at dismissal time. A mother was behind the wheel of the van that crashed into Amiel; she had transferred into the driver's seat after sending her driver to look for her son. It's unclear whether the van was manual and she started the engine without ensuring that the gear was on neutral, or the van was automatic and she accidentally stepped on the gas pedal instead of the brake. This caused not only the crushing of a ten-year old boy in between two cars, but also a five-car wreckage. Amiel was rushed to the hospital but was pronounced dead on arrival, at around 5:oo PM. (For more information, read the article here.)

Such a heartbreaking, tragic accident can stir so many reactions and emotions. Sadness at the loss of a young, promising life, sympathy for the family of the bereaved, anger towards the driver, the traffic scheme imposed by the school, or to the very unfairness and senselessness of the event. I felt all of these things and more. But I am ashamed to have felt anger at the driver, the mother in the van that caused it all. Yes, she had been quite careless. I was angry at her negligence, thinking that she should be put behind bars. I even wondered why she had to send her driver to pick up her son--bakit hindi na lang siya sumundo sa anak niya?

This we might never know. What I do know is that that mother must be in an unbearable amount of pain right now, equivalent to or even greater than what the Alcantara family must be going through. For the rest of her life, she will carry with her the image of that little boy being pinned in front of her. I heard she fainted right after it happened. With the weight of the reality of what had happened, I would have fainted, too.

We have no right to blame this mother, or feel anger towards her. In fact, we should include her in our prayers. Not only should we pray for the repose of Amiel's soul, or for the strength of the Alcantara family, but for this woman as well, that she may, in time, forgive herself. It was an accident, after all. It could have happened and it can happen to any of us drivers. Let this unfortunate event serve as a reminder for us all.

If you liked it then you shouda put a ring on it (LSS of the month!)

Another weekend post. And what a weekend it's been. In fairness to me, I was able to refrain from blogging prior to my chem exam. Not that I spent all that time studying. Haha.

Friday was UPCM interview day. I got there late and therefore rather panicky, since I knew I had an essay to write. But everything turned out rather okay, I think. There were a couple of surprises. :) It was over in about an hour, but it felt like fifteen minutes. I'm so so relieved, yet scared as well, knowing that there's nothing more I can do and my fate is no longer in my hands.

Funny though, I realized only when I got home that I was wearing one pink pearl earring and one white the entire time. Hahaha. :) Mom didn't even see it, and she was seated across from me throughout lunch. She treated me to Secret Recipe in Shangri-La "to ease the stress." Their lamb stew was to die for, and the phad thai was quite perfect as well. I also ordered the marble cheesecake, which was their bestseller. It was really good, rich and creamy and everything, though I wasn't a big fan of the oat and nut crust. I'm definitely going back to try their other cheesecakes. Here are a couple of pictures. These were taken using my Nokia 6500c, so forgive the quality please.

This is the phad thai, before they mixed all the ingredients together. The noodles are wrapped in a little egg package. :)

Marble cheesecake. So good. I would've preferred a graham cracker crust, though, instead of the oat and nut. Or an oreo crust. Yay for cheap taste. :p

Next was dinner at Dencio's Rockwell to celebrate Ats' and Tito Popot's birthdays. As if Mom and I needed any more calories! Food was good; I especially enjoyed the chocolate truffle and sans rival from Sugarhouse. Bonding was great, as usual. I will upload pictures in my multiply. I missed Mr. and Ms. Psych though, which I rather regret. It was my last chance to attend, too. Oh well. Family first.

Saturday was study day with Ruari. We met up at Starbucks Temple Drive at ten. I love how we're so at home there. We each have a round table, and so many chairs for all our stuff. Then when we bought sandwiches for lunch, we moved to another table. Parang lumipat lang from the office to the dining room. :P I didn't get to study as much as I would've liked, because I started feeling sick and had to go home at around four. Not the best state to be in two days before a chemistry exam.

I didn't spend Sunday with the family; I was at Melay's for for PMHS deliberations. I missed a day in Tagaytay, including lunch at Tootsie's. But at least delibs finished earlier than expected, which was a relief. I was able to stop by Bea's before going home. Anything to delay studying! I still felt quite sick all day, and I fell asleep studying at around eleven.

And today was Oscars day! And yeah, chem exam day too. Until this morning, I was still hoping for a reply from Sir Sumera, saying that the exam will be postponed. It was a holiday, after all, and it's really against the rules (of the UP admin, or whatever) to hold exams on holidays. Sadly, no reply. I tried my best (I really did!) to finish memorizing all the reactions and physical properties and stuff, but the Oscars were such a beautiful distraction. Hugh Jackman is Mom's new idol, or so her Facebook status reports. Right after the chem exam, Lee-Ann and I went to Starbucks Katipunan. And because it was so, so full, we decided to just drink up in Cantina with Mara, Perry, Josh, and Caloi. It was just what we needed to forget about the horrid exam.

It was also today that I found out that I made it to St. Luke's College of Medicine. :) Yay for having a future, and keeping my med school dreams alive! The initial list of accepted applicants can be found here.

It is almost two, so I must be off. Tomorrow will be 135 powerpoint-making day. Hopefully I don't just sleep all day again.

I surrender to the strawberry ice cream

Three-hour afternoon nap + coffee after dinner + reading people's panicky blog entries (re: UPCM interview) -- definitely not good for my nerves, nor my studying for org chem, nor my goal to finally get my body clock back on track.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN TO LOLA KAREN! Thank you for the ice cream; Long Island's strawberry-filled is my new day-maker. :) Dungis pictures for the win!

Please watch this video. It gave me goosebumps, even the second time around. It's something we all need to think about, especially in these times.

[EDIT 11:56] I really really really want Sanuks. Ruari and I check them out every time we see them in a store, and every time we get disheartened by the pricetag. Stupid overpriced shoe sandal.:(

It's easy to tease me

It's been a good weekend. Almost a four-day weekend for me. Friday after class was spent with Ruari in Shangri-La. We bought each other our Valentine's gifts. We initially agreed on a budget of P500 but quickly realized that that amount can't really buy much these days. Sad. He ended up choosing a bag (that can fit his laptop, yay!), and I got a pair of flats. Both above the said budget, but not by much. In fairness. :)

On Saturday I was in UP for PMHS interviews. Mom picked me up at around 2 and we headed straight for Tagaytay. We met up with Papa and Monch who had gone earlier because Papa had a lunch at his friend's house there. Mom and I (and Yaya Arlie, too) got there at around 5. The weather was just lovely, still cold and windy.

Our overnight in Crosswinds (only our second ever!) was definitely the highlight of my weekend. All four of us love going there now; there's just something about the weather and the novelty of the place I guess that is just so relaxing. I had actually brought my computer in the hopes that I would be able to get some work done. I ended up reading the new book Mama got me, Surgeons Do Not Cry by Dr. Ting Tiongco, and falling asleep before midnight. Oh, we had a delicious dinner at Teriyaki Boy before that. It's available in Manila, I know, but everything just tastes and feels different in the cold of Tagaytay. We were all in a pretty good mood, too; hardly any of those petty little arguments we have at home. Good family bonding time. :)

We went home too early on Sunday, because Papa had a dinner to attend. We had another heavy meal, this time at this Filipino restaurant in Sta. Rosa. I can't remember the name, but it was Rose something. Haha. We had bulalo, lechon paksiw, fried chicken, fried tilapia, laing. We were all so full afterwards, but we still managed to have dessert in Starbucks along SLEX. I introduced Mama to white chocolate mocha, and she loved it. Not surprising, since she likes her coffee much, much sweeter than I do.

I was at St. Luke's this morning (Monday) for my interview. After a short psych test, Ruari kept me company while waiting for my turn. I was interviewed at around 11:30, and the whole thing was over in around 20 minutes. The doctors were really very nice, and my blockmate who was next in line said he could hear us laughing from outside. They said I should expect to hear from them in about a week or so. :)

I slept so much after the interview, both on the way home and upon arriving home. Needless to say, I barely got to do any work until after dinner. And so my body clock is all screwy again, which is why I'm awake and writing this now, at two a.m. I am also very, very, very hungry.

I think have a hunger problem. I remember taking up this disorder in Psych 155 that was described as the uncontrollable desire to eat. I think I have a mild form of that. Because seriously, I'm never full for more than an hour. Two at most, if it's really big meal. What's more, a meal for me isn't complete without dessert. I need the last taste in my mouth to be sweet, preferably something chocolate. Fruits don't count; they're usually just the preliminary to the real dessert. The result of all this eating? Flabby arms which I absolutely hate. I'm actually avoiding wearing any sleeveless tops these days, because I hate the way my arms look.

I'm looking forward to the Lenten season because then I'll have more incentive to fast and lose weight. It's so wrong. I'm such a sinner.

One, two, three, four, tell me that you love me more

When a sort-of bad day turns good.

It was another one of those mornings. I think the PMS is starting up again. Blah. But there were some high points too. Like Ma'am Mendoza screaming in the middle of the lecture, out of nowhere. Orientation reflex daw, haha. Winner!

I had time to kill before the Phi interview orientation at 5:30, so I met up with Ruari. There were some technical difficulties in getting there, but I think we worked it out. :) Since he wanted to have Wicked Oreos at Flaming Wings, I finally decided to try the linguine with clams. It was really good, and they're really generous with the clams, too. There was just a bit too much oil though. Then Starbucks for an hour--my first visit this week! What an accomplishment. :P Ruari found the signature hot chocolate, non-fat, no-whip, way too chocolate-y. Haha. I guess one chocoholic is plenty for any relationship.

I was glad I attended the orientation. I had some apprehensions about it, but in the end I think I made the right decision. I think I now have a better grasp of just how I need to prepare. Also, I realized how much I really, really, really want this. The fact that I attended is proof of that. I'm going to take every opportunity I can get to ready myself. So that when I finally get there, I have the assurance that I did everything that I possibly could.

It was nice also to see and talk to PMHS alumni. And sell keychains. Haha! Thank you. :)

Another winner today was XKCD. :D Nerdy gets me every time.

It feels just like I'm falling for the first time

What a week it's been. Every day seemed so long. It's amazing how there's so much to be done this semester, for only three subjects. Last sem's 16 units was heaven compared to my nine now.

It feels good though, looking back on everything now. 135 exam on Wednesday, 135 paper, Chem 31.1 postlab and prelab on Thursday, and St, Luke's essays today. I didn't get more than four hours of sleep on any night. It was a week of coffee, Extra Joss that is becoming less and less effective, naps at Lola's when I could, and entire days feeling like I would drift off at any moment.

These past two days were also particularly memorable, for they included glimpses of my possible futures. Yesterday after Chem, Lee-Ann and I went to UERM to submit our applications, where I found out I was applicant no. 696. So many people applying to med school this year, a lot of them from UP too. I saw an entire table stacked with applications, each with the familiar pink transcript.

In the middle of 135 this morning, I received a text that rendered me unable to listen to Ma'am Mendoza's lecture for the rest of the period. Hehe. Thank you, Jo. :)

Then this afternoon, I was off to St. Luke's. The building's already quite familiar. Hehe. They gave me a choice of a Monday or a Friday for my interview. I chose the Monday, because Friday will most likely be the date of another one of the eight experiments we're required to conduct for 135. I can't imagine missing an experiment. Last na eh. I really want to make the most of my remaining time in psych.

There. My applications have been sent. Two of three interviews have been scheduled. The reality of it all grips me.

SLCM: 09 February, Monday, 10 AM.
UPCM: 20 February, Friday, 10 AM. Why oh why was I placed on the last day?? Interviews are until the 27th pala. So I'm not the last. Yay.

O, that You would bless me indeed.

I'm off. Waking up at 4:00 for my last ever free clinic as a member of the UP Pre-Medical Honor Society!

'Cause it's hard to live, it's hard to live in the city

Second post, yay! Again, I'm in ultimate stalling mode, not wanting to start studying for my 135 exam, which is TOMORROW. I'd just like to document my day, which was a good day. Somehow, Jess answered my prayer last night. I specifically asked for a good day. I really didn't want my official start of the week (since I don't have class on Mondays) to be all emo. And from what I'm seeing from my friend's blogs, the emo is going around like a virus.

I had a good breakfast of banana pancakes made by Yaya Sonia. I ate it at Lola's, since I didn't have time for breakfast at home, and I was dead asleep on the way to school. Tito Ronnie happened to comment that I'm getting taller! Could this be true? I'm 21 so I think I'm running out of time for any more vertical growth. Not that I'm not happy with five feet, four-and-a-half inches. But I'd gladly welcome another inch or so.

Chem, oh chem. We're into the alkyl halides now, and I'm still somehow following Sir Sumera's lecture. That won't last long though, I'm sure. He announced that we'll have a quiz on Thursday, which I definitely won't be able to study for because of the 135 paper and the postlab and prelabs due all on the same day. But whatevs.

I passed the lab exam. It was much better than lec, thank God. I'm so not worried about getting low grades anymore. Basta lang talaga pumasa, at maka-graduate. I promptly forgot about the exam when we started the experiment. All those tests for ketones and aldehydes kept us busy almost the entire period. The Schiff's test was especially pretty, too.

The afternoon was spent in Starbucks Katipunan with Lee-Ann, signing the sigsheets we collected from the apps. I'm taking pictures of all of my pages, since it's my last second sigsheet ever. :( It was also nice seeing Kuya Mark today. He's one of the guards there, the most madaldal of them all. He always finds something to ask us about, even if it's something he's asked before, and he and I both know it. Haha. Still, it's thoughtful of him, and thoughtfulness is always something I appreciate.

Kuya Mark: May results na 'yung mga exam niyo sa med?
Me: 'Yung applications namin?
Kuya Mark: Oo.
Me: Wala pa eh.
Kuya Mark: Ah.. Balitaan 'niyo ko ha?
Me: Oo naman. Basta pagdasal mo kami ha?
Kuya Mark: Siyempre naman.

I got home at around 5, and proceeded to take my daily afternoon nap. The tall-no-whip-praline-mocha-frappuccino-light I had did nothing to stop me from sleeping for over two hours. Which is why I no longer have an excuse to not study all night long.

Last, but not least for today. Ruari's exams are over! One more block to go for him. He's on his way to Laguna now with his class, a much-needed break for all of them, I'm sure. He'll be back tomorrow, but I'll see him on Friday, which right now, with everything still left to do, seems light-years away.

There. That was my good day. Praying for the same tomorrow. Ma'am Mendoza, pleasepleaseplease.

OKAY. THAT'S IT. STUDY.

One last, for more neuroticism. Tita Josie Lapena informed me that the PGH deliberations will start tomorrow. God help us all.

Dancing to electro-pop like a robot from 1984

Why is it that I always seem to create blogs whenever I'm supposed to be studying for an exam. My last one (dismissthis) was made the days before a Math 100 (Calculus) exam. And now, it's almost 1 in the morning and I've only barely scratched the surface of the coverage for the Psych 135 (Sensation and Perception) exam on Wednesday. Instead I'm writing here.

Why a new blog?

I've been stalking my friends' blogs for quite a while now, be it on Multiply, LiveJournal, Blogspot, what-have-you. And I always feel a touch of jealousy at how freely they can express themselves, without fear of judgment. I want to be able to do that. My old blogs are all mostly empty, because I never think that I can write as well or as profoundly as my friends, that the things I say will sound stupid, silly, shallow, or all of the above. This doesn't help me at all when I get the occasional urge to write down a few thoughts, to unload some of the burden from the inside of my head onto the universe. My Starbucks planner isn't enough of an outlet. That's really just a record of the things I do and need to do per day. I hardly even go back to previous days to read what I wrote. The entries in there are rather boring, to be honest.

It's also significant to mention what Ruari said when I told him about this new creation of mine. He said that my fear of judgment is something that I have to get over. And in order to do that, I should start by not being the one to read and judge. That's actually something I've been working on for a while now. I guess you can say that that's one of my new blog's resolutions.

What happened to dismissthis?

That blog was a failed attempt to do all of what I just said above. If you check it out, you'll find mostly memes, personality test results, and typing test results. In fact, I think that's where I'll post all of those from now on. This blog will be purely my writings. But I'll probably also throw in a few photos, quotable quotes, articles, and songs here and there.

Also, the name of the blog does not really apply to me anymore, or at least I'd like to think it doesn't. See, it was taken from the different attachment styles that we took up in Psych 150 (Theories of Personality). I found that I have a dismissive-avoidant attachment style (read about the different styles here), which I so wanted to change. Well that was almost two years and one relationship ago. I'd like to believe I'm more securely attached now. Hee.

Oh, and I do also have a blog on Multiply. But Multiply is way, way more public than I can handle right now. Every time I post an entry there, I am simply too conscious of the fact that it will be available to my 300 something contacts. Which therefore leads me to censor my words, defeating the purpose of writing anything in the first place.

Why talknerdytomee?

It stems from a rather private joke between me and Ruari. Although it is quite applicable to my personality as well. As I wrote just today in my essay for my St. Luke's application, I've always loved learning, having developed an affinity for books at age four. At age six I read my mom's pregnancy books, taking in with gusto all the gory images of labor and all. As a huge fan of the Sweet Valley series in grade school, I always identified more with Elizabeth than Jessica. And I've never been a party girl; I prefer quiet, meaningful conversations to parties with dancing and loud music. So I do think I'm quite the nerd, and nerdiness is definitely the way to my heart.

(Oh, and also, talknerdytome wasn't an available address, so I added another e. With how OC I can be about grammar and all, it just shows how much I really wanted that address. Haha.)

Why now?

Because I don't want to study for 135. Haha, but more than that really. I feel like I'm in a very exciting time in my life. In just a few months I will graduate from college with a degree in Psychology. Afterwards I will enter medical school, the thought of which occupies me day and night. So I think now is a good time to start documenting my life in a more substantial way. And when I finally do get to med school, I'll need a place to vent when everything starts becoming toxic.

I think that's enough of an introduction. And it's also time for me to sleep, given that tomorrow should will be spent in major study mode.

Before I forget, Kung Hei Fat Choi to everyone. Bring on the tikoy!