Saturday, August 29, 2009

So much to be said

...after almost a month since my last post, and as I enter my fourth month in med.

For one thing, kaya ko naman pala. After two heartbreaks, I think I'm getting the hang of this. Of studying, that is. I've accepted the fact that I'm not naturally smart, and I don't have magical testmanship skills either. I've learned that it takes more than highlighting a trans to really understand it. Starting early really helps. And so does studying with a friend (CarlaBon!). I learned also not to believe in all feedback about exams or subjects i.e. 204 (Head and Neck) ang pinakamahirap sa OS series. I actually enjoyed 204. I hated 203 though (Skin, Muscles, Bones), and I'm am looking forward to 205 (Thorax).

To anyone else, my life now may seem quite routine and monotonous. Class from 8 to 5 everyday, with just an hour for lunch. I've never consumed so much coffee in my life. It is not only recommended that we study every night, but necessary that we do so. Starting three days in advance is already cramming. The circles under my eyes are darkening by the week. The only TV I get to watch is on weekends, and my internet time has been reduced to checking the class Yahoo! Groups for trans errata. As I drift off to sleep at around 2 a.m., my neurons are still firing with thoughts of sternocleidomastoids, thyroid ima arteries, inferior obliques, ansa cervicalises, lesser occipital nerves, foramen rotundums, etc etc etc.

But I'm happy where I am. I know that even as I sit through lectures upon lectures, willing myself not to fall asleep, that this is exactly where I want to be. I prepared myself for this throughout college, impatiently counting down the months, weeks, days until the first day of class. I want to be doctor more than anything. And if studying like mad for five years is what it'll take, then I'll do it. If memorizing the stages of swallowing or the roots and branches of the cervical plexus will help me save a life one day, then so be it. Always with the end in mind.

Of course, we all need our "small holidays." For me, a cup of yogurt topped with strawberries in syrup, mango, and cheesecake does the trick. So does time with Ruari, which I find myself longing, no, aching for as each week ends. And as much as possible, I don't compromise time with my family. No matter what exam is coming up, I have to go home for the weekend. I have so much to go home for, and I can only be thankful.

I know also that my life in med school can only get better, richer even. I'm looking forward to the second semester, and the years beyond with the wonderful girls who all made the same decision. I hope many more will do so. :)

An exam has been scheduled on my birthday. Biochem, nonetheless. So in anticipation of my special day, I will have to master the metabolism of carbohydrates, proteins, and lipids, bioenergetics, metabolic integration, metabolic regulation--all of which are completely new to me. Birthday blessings please? :)

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