Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Limbo

That's how I feel right now. Stuck in limbo. Transitioning between college and med school. Somewhat missing the past, and anxious about the future.

On the one hand, it's allowed me a much-needed break. I'm not attending class, I'm not reading any textbooks, I'm not cramming for exams--all of which I will definitely be doing a lot of come June. Instead, I've been sleeping until noon, failing at my diet, not exercising, finally trying to catch up on my reading, and watching more TV than I have in years. Seriously, I'm currently following Grey's Anatomy, Gossip Girl, Pushing Daisies, The Big Bang Theory, Chuck, and Brothers and Sisters. Oh, and American Idol. That's a lot for someone who typically watches only cooking shows late at night because they're non-scary and they're the perfect background noise for when I'm studying.

On the other hand, I'm desperately waiting for school to start. The few who actually read this blog know that there is no topic that I write about more often than med. I can't wait to finally become a med student, complete with the white uniform (which we can't wear until July, sadly). I'm excited to start living in Adriatico with Karen and Sam. The nerdy part of me wants to order my textbooks as soon as possible, so I can start reading already. And I haven't even enrolled yet! I haven't even been through the physical exam, or undergone psychological testing, which are scheduled this Thursday and Friday, respectively. I haven't even been cleared from Diliman yet, for God's sake.

Speaking of med books. I knew med would be expensive, but I had no idea how much until now. Forget books, I'm only talking about tuition here. When my mom and I inquired at the admissions office about a month ago, they told us it would be around P30,000. So naturally I was shocked to find out just last week that it would actually be P50,000, for the first semester alone. How lucky for us, the class of 2014, that the administration decide to increase the tuition fee this very year. It's still hard to wrap my mind around the fact that my tuition for just one semester in med will roughly equal the cost of my entire undergrad education. And that's just tuition! There's also books, as mentioned. And uniforms, rent, furniture, medical equipment like steth and sphygmo, and who knows what else. Oh, the guilt. I can't help but think again of how I could be working and helping my parents out instead of being an additional burden to them. Hay.

So anyway, going back, limbo. Summer has been limbo for me. I'm enjoying it, yes, but also can't wait for it to be over, as though the moment summer ends is the moment my life starts again. It does sound sad, doesn't it? It totally violates my live in the here and now motto of two summers ago. I blame it all on my being so un-busy this past year and a half. I need work to get my mind working and blood pumping again.

I know I'll be sorry I said that, but yeah.

And oh, I did not just come back from Boracay, as originally scheduled. Due to certain conflicts, Bea, Melch, and I moved our trip to the 24th, until the 27th. Still hoping Fen can come with us. And praying for good weather. No more storms, please?

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